165: FIGHT

by Derin

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We head back to our own living dome, dodging random Hylarans who want to talk about what just happened with the ship. That’ll still be fresh news tomorrow. Once alone, I explain calmly, neutrally, everything that has happened since I collapsed talking to Hive.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen the quiet fury that clouds Captain Klees’ eyes as I talk.

“Well,” he says. He looks down at his own foot, the skin jarringly young and fresh and unscarred compared to the rest of his body. “I suppose I’ll be changing health service providers.”

“So your eye works?” Tal asks.

“Yeah.”

“And Dr Kim thinks you could use the synnerves to – ”

“Connect to other stuff, yeah. No giving yourself a robot body, Tal; you’re not a DIVR.”

“I know,” ke grumbles, sounding genuinely disappointed. “I’m glad you’re safe. But what about the other two? Tinera’s not a DIVR either.”

“I have no idea. Haven’t seen them, haven’t heard from them. Dr Kim said they’re getting health treatment. I’m starting to fear the worst.”

“Death,” Captain Klees says grimly. “Failed experiment.”

“Wouldn’t be the first people to die in some failed mad science experiment since we got on the ship. But I really don’t think Dr Kim would take big risks with our lives. Too much of a chance of creating an unrecoverable political disaster. What good is robot eye tech if finding it starts a war with the ship? I – huh. You know. This kill switch thing makes her experiment make more sense now. This is why she was in such a rush to get results. She was worried that some lunatic would blow up the ship before she could get good results out of me, and needed me secured away to safeguard her experiment.”

“Or she might be the lunatic planning on blowing up the ship,” Captain Klees says darkly. “I’m not disposed to trust her right now.”

“‘Lunatic’ is a term that’s very offensive to the Lunari,” Tal says, in a surprisingly good impression of Tinera. “Only about half of us are completely unhinged, that’s no reason to disparage the other half.”

And we all dissolve into fits of giggles.

We expect someone to show up to ask about why I’m unexpectedly out of quarantine sooner or later, and indeed it’s only about ten minutes before Max comes bustling into our dome, eyes bright and grinning with the excitement of the day’s activities. Aside from that, they look about as awkward as one would expect of someone meeting up with people who just learned that they’d been not telling them about the secret weapon designed to kill everyone on their spaceship.

“Aspen! It’s great that you’re back among us!”

“Hello, Max.”

“How’s the eye?”

“Fine.” I wonder, briefly, if Max is in on Dr Kim’s science experiment, but Dr Kim had already said they weren’t. “We need to have a little chat with you, Max.”

“Look. The things with the kill code is – ”

“We can have that incredibly awkward discussion later – ”

“And we will be having it later,” Captain Klees growls.

“ – rather more time sensitive is the question of where Tinera and the Friend are.”

Max frowns, puzzled. “Um. Still in treatment, I assume. Unless they were released with you?”

I cross my arms and draw Max’s full attention while Tal moves, as calmly and nonconfrontationally as possible, to stand in front of the exit, just in case. “I wasn’t released. I escaped.”

Max’s eyes widen and they step back, bumping into Captain Klees, who’s moved behind them. I explain Dr Kim’s experiment, and as I do, Max’s expression gets darker and darker. “Oh, this is a dunce cap situation for sure,” they growl when I’m finished. “She’s spending so much time in Time out that we’ll have to train a new doctor to pick up her duties while she’s out of commission. She just did that to you, secretly? And lied to everyone?”

Bit rich to be enraged by that right on the heels of the whole kill code thing, but I don’t mention that. Instead I say, “So you see why we’re a bit concerned about the wellbeing of our other friends. We need to know if they’re okay. And alive.”

“They’re alive. Nobody would lie about that, it would just create a huge mess once the truth got out. And I don’t think you need to worry. They were transferred into Dr Tellon’s care quite soon after going into quarantine. Dr Kim said that with her other commitments, she didn’t have time for all three of you, and wanted to focus on you. I figured she was just a fan of your books, but I guess this experiment is why.”

“Take us to this Dr Tellon,” Captain Klees says. “Right now.”

Max looks somewhat puzzled, but nods and leads us out of the dome. I keep an eye on the Hylarans we pass. None of them are surprised to see me, and nobody freaks out and tells me to get back on quarantine; I suppose news of me being out, and the assumption that I was legitimately released, has gotten around. They do mostly look pretty ashamed and won’t meet our eyes. The whole kill switch threat, the fact we all know, and the fact the switch didn’t work, is probably much, much bigger news to them.

I’m thinking about current and future threats; I don’t have the room to feel indignant about that right now. I put it aside and focus on what’s ahead of us. Most notably, should we have told Max about the whole experiment thing? Max will surely tell the rest of Hylara, and as much as I’d love to see Dr Kim and her unidentified cronies face consequences, that’ll probably be a complication.

Because if I’m predicting the future right, her cooperation could be very useful. It might be better to not only hold onto that dirt, but avoid weakening her influence in the eyes of the other Hylarans. We don’t need her, but she might make things less complicated. Maybe we can swear Max to silence.

Max leads us to another living dome and ducks inside. We wait for them to come out, and older but not elderly Hylaran trailing behind. “Dr Tellon,” Max says. “He’s in charge of your setmates’ healthcare.

Dr Tellon looks very tired and stressed, for a Hylaran. He looks a little like Hive after coming out of Time Out, but I expect the cause is different this time. This is the look of Celi or the Friend after several days of trying to keep someone alive in the medbay. He looks up at us without any kind of fear, apprehension or shame, so I guess he doesn’t know why we’re here, and probably didn’t hear the radio conversation about the kill switches. He looks, in fact, like he might have recently woken up.

“We want to see our setmates,” Captain Klees says. “Right now, please.”

Dr Tellon shakes his head. “They’re in recovery.”

“Recovery? For what? Surely a visit from those closest to them can only help them heal.”

“Their problems are psychological,” Dr Tellon says. “They’re having some difficulty calming down after their treatments. Mama’s trying to help, and I’m certain they will recover in time, but progress is slow. Please, be patient.”

“After their treatments?” Captain Klees asks, a hint of panic on the edge of his bright curious tone, his smile more the baring of teeth in a jaw clenched so tight I’m surprised they aren’t cracking.

“It’s complicated. Your setmates are fine; recovery can somet – ”

I think it’s that stupid vague cover phrase ‘it’s complicated’ that does it. Something cold and familiar wells up in me, and I step briskly around the captain to put both of my hands around the doctor’s pathetic, fuzzy little throat. I’m not cutting off his breathing quite yet, but his eyes bulge in terror as he stares at me.

My tone is completely neutral, although I don’t make it that way on purpose. I simply say, “I once killed one thousand innocent people who were an obstacle between me and a crewmate in trouble. You’re putting yourself between me and two crewmates in trouble. Are you sure you want to stand there?”

“You should take us to our crewmates now,” Captain Klees says quietly over my shoulder.

There are a few Hylarans around us, but they just stare, open-mouthed, apparently not sure how to handle this approach. Max wrings their hands and looks worried and a little confused, all trace of their normal bright smile gone. I release the trembling doctor so that he can lead us towards the door underground. Max ducks into his home and emerges moments later with an oxygen tank and mask, handing it to the doctor for the journey.

“You didn’t kill a thousand people,” Tal mumbles quietly in my ear as we move. “A lot of them were already dead, and I woke up, so – ”

“I really don’t think it matters right now,” I mutter back.

“Mathematical accuracy always matters.”

We head, as I expect, into the old ship buried underground. Children stare at us, fearless and curious. We head through the ship and through the decontamination room and into the very same corridor I’d left just an hour or two ago. We head past my room, past a couple of empty rooms, past the room where I got my scans done.

Tinera’s room is only a few more doors down.

She does look fine. She’s sitting at the desk, facing away from us, playing some sort of one-person card game. Her room is impeccably clean, bed made, which strikes me as unusual from what I’ve seen of her until I remember just how much time this woman has spent in prison cells. She doesn’t look injured or restrained in any way, except of course by the presumably locked room door. She turns, sees us, and her eyes lock on Dr Tellon in an expression of the most potent rage I have ever seen on a face.

Then she sees the rest of us, and it melts away. Her eyes widen in surprise, and she rushes over to the window.

“Let her out,” Captain Klees says, his voice full of every bit of the rage I’d just seen on Tinera’s face. I glance at him and Tal; they both look very, very angry. “Now.”

“She’s fine,” Dr Tellon says, “but she’s too psychologically fragile right – ”

“I’m the only member of this ground crew that’s never killed people. Do you want to be my first? Open the fucking door.”

He does. Tinera strides through and punches the doctor solidly in the stomach. Max shrieks and leaps back, but Tinera ignores them and instead tries to hug all three of us at once.

And that’s when I notice just what made Tal and the captain so, so angry.

Tinera has two completely normal-looking, apparently functional hands.

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53 thoughts on “165: FIGHT”

  2. Ah fuck.

    Does …

    Does this mean they “””fixed””” the Friend too?

    Can they do that???

    I’m not 100% on board with the Friend’s choices there, but they do appear to have made the initial decision while of reasonably sound body and mind.

    Which means it was their decision to make, and thus their decision to ever unmake.

    And I don’t think they would have done that willingly either.

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      1. bro you’re seriously proposing collective punishment in the comments section of the ‘collective punishment is bad’ novel???

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  6. Tiny might be going to Time Out for punching the doctor. I hope, whatever happened to the Friend, it’s ok or gonna be ok. Why didn’t anyone teach these people about medical ethics?

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    1. I guess that maybe in such a small community where they all have an important role and are supposed to work hard it’s possible mandatory to repair any physical “defects” as fast and effectively as possible, asking no questions or opinions 🤔

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  7. Oh, wow, I don’t think I’ve ever been this incandescent with rage for fictional characters. Which is a very calm version of me saying what I’m thinking which is HAVE THESE FUCKERS NEVER HEARD OF BODILY AUTONOMY? 😤

    This doc is so lucky he only got a punch to the stomach. Wouldn’t want to be Dr Kim when Tiny finds her.

    Also, I shudder to think what they’ve done to the friend. Would they be capable of reversing its procedure?

    The eugenics of it all makes my stomach turn.

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  11. I knew it. I hope Tiny gets that amputated. Friend… The surgery on its brain seems to be quite delicate. I don’t know if that’s something that can be reversed without consequences, or unreversed without more consequences.

    On an unrelated note, Max might have some questions about the killing people part.

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  12. Did Tinera’s hand also come from Dr Kim? I know she said she was just going to test the Synerve thing on Aspen at first but she could have been lying?

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  16. oh absolutely fuck that. i’m gonna be seething all day at this fictional character’s violation of autonomy. holy fucking shit. i’m losing my mind. bro. absolutely the fuck not. no. i’m going to kill everyone

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  17. I’m starting to think hylaran doctors aren’t taught about things such as ‘ethics’ and ‘basic human decency’. Funny how some of them are so similar to the antarcticans they hate.

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  18. […] designed to kill everyone on their spaceship.

    “Aspen! It’s great that you’re back among us!”

    Is that a bloody among us joke?

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  19. Oh NO. I’m guessing they’ve undone the Friend’s surgery too 😦 . Antarctica clearly didn’t outfit Mama with medical ethics – which fits the rest of their behaviour. The notion of autonomy (bodily or otherwise) wouldn’t be something they’d want to encourage.

    And the Hylarans haven’t independently come up with the concept – something for Aspen to deliberate about once the situation cools

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  20. of course these people don’t know shit about bodily autonomy. fuuuck. i hope the friend is fine, it doesn’t seem like its brain surgery is something that could be reversed so easily…………
    i hope tiny kills him for the hand thing tbh. we didn’t know why she didn’t want to get a new one but it definitely was very important to her.

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    1. I might be imagining things but I feel like her hand got harmed in an accident that killed a woman she loved and she wanted to keep it to never forget. Idk if that was written or just a feeling I got who knows where tho 😅

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    2. It would definitely be in character for Tiny to kill him and Dr Kim… but Hylaran’s have never had lethal punishment except when imposed on them by antarctica so i think it would NOT help convince them that the corageous people aren’t violent imperialists … could make things very very much worse

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  21. ngl i quite enjoy Aspen’s occasional violent outbursts!

    I have a theory that the Hylaran doctors feel they may be about to have to fight antarctica one way or another, and have objections to people being ‘out of action’. Tiny’s hand had obvious practical issuses and the Friend’s brain alterations occasionally lead them to make strange and potentially dangerous decisions, like lying about their involvement in Ren’s death. Not saying that justifies their actions but I think that maybe their rationale: they want everyone ‘strong’ (cue abelist ideas of strength)

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  22. Man I actually feel physically ill that they did that to Tinera. I don’t even want to contemplate what might have happened to the Friend. I need to do calm down exercises what the fuck

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  24. there is probably going to be a policy that hylarean doctors are not allowed near non hylareans without supervision after this mess for at least the next generation.

    unfortunate and very bad for living together but if they are all trained to the mengale standard and the culture supports that they really can’t be trusted around vulnerable people both for those people’s sake and to avoid the ineivtabale reprisals if things like this happen once the ship people on the ground outnumber the locals.

    (the captain can be trusted not to bomb the hylareans or whatever but once it is thousands of people capable of acting things can’t be controlled like that)

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  25. OH so it was medical, and not secret experiments. It didn’t seem like Dr. Kim was lying about that. This explains a lot.

    Trying to remember. Does the Friend have anything that could be considered a medical problem, beyond the Lyson thing? Not sure if the Hylarans have the ability to undo that.

    Of course I don’t agree with it, but don’t take it out on Dr. Tellon. He’s doing his best, and consent for treatment isn’t something that Hylaran culture has. It’s not worth it to take out a cultural grievance on a specific person.

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  26. Oh, I had meant to reply to the last chapter admitting that I was definitely wrong about the reason Tinera and the Friend were both out of commission – the reaction of the Hylarans to the concept of a convict ship made that clear – and it looks like the “violation of medical autonomy” theory was indeed right.

    I am really curious about the Friend’s “treatment,” though. Brains don’t regrow, at least not in our current science – is there some kind of elasticity treatment, or what? (Obviously horrifically wrong regardless.) I had wondered, for a while, about the effectiveness of the Friend’s initiation, because although brains don’t regrow, they do change and adapt – and the Friend did seem to have started to develop minor social bonds. Obviously the Friends all undergo extensive training in addition to the surgery, which helps prevent them from relapsing, but, as has been pointed out, the situation on the javelins was so far outside of most human experience – I had wondered if its brain had started to adjust and re-assign the “social bonds” duties to one of the uninjured parts already. That wouldn’t be a gross violation of its autonomy, though, and this extremely, EXTREMELY is.

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    1. Brains don’t regrow—but normally, nerve cells don’t regrow, either. The Friend is a DIVR. Maybe synnerves work as a suitable replacement for nerve cells lost to Lyson treatments, too.

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  27. oh fuck. Well. That is so much worse than I expected. Poor Tiny. Its probably a good thing Nish was on the ship, he might of crushed some skulls otherwise!

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  29. so uh, this won’t be good for diplomacy between the colonies (and also Aspen, what would you do in Hylara’s situation? when you’re not entirely sure if something on the ship changing won’t cause them to blow you all up, would you tell them about your last resort defense against them? pretty sure the whole “doctors care more about making people “whole” than about medical consent” is way worse)

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  30. uff that’s tough. No wonder Tinera isn’t calming down. I wonder how the friend is feeling about all this and especially… who he is right now…

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  31. My favorite part about Tal’s Tinera impression is that I suspect Tinera absolutely counts herself amongst the “completely unhinged” half.

    But the single best part of this chapter is Klees’ warning to Tellon.

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  32. oh god this is so terribly upsetting. i’m so mad on Tinera’s behalf, i think in part the reason why this particular viokation is hitting me so hard i think at least in part because this kind of violation of bodily autonomy for disabled people is exactly the sort of thing i spend lots of my day-to-day thinking about and defending against. also, i think someone called it in the comments a few chapters ago when we first learned that Tiny and the Friend were missing and Dr. Kim told Aspen that they’re always that pushy with patients.

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    1. Found It!! On Chapter 160: Tables, Tae left a comment predicting that Dr. Kim was [scare quotes]”fixing”[/end scare quotes] Tiny and the Friend by their super duper ableist standards.

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  33. seems like hylara has no concept of bodily autonomy OR disability justice. More new earth ideas theyre gonna have to learn.

    “theyre psychologically struggling to adapt to their treatment” oh you think?! Its very telling someone to go to therapy when what they need is food and shelter. You dont just wait for someone to calm down about such a drastic removal of bodily autonomy. They were both convicts, used to having their time managed and people breathing down their necks and arbitrary punishment, but this is a whole other level of invasive and nonconsensual. Holy shit.

    and still thinking about dr kim “cool we’ll take the eye out, kill the synnerves and try something else.” Aspen is not your medical dummy shes a person???

    and ofc this comes from antarctica, not treating them as people just as semi-disposable Vault operators. I guess Hylara might be about to learn about internalised bigotry and that theyre not entirely separate from their beloathed Antarctica. Id like the ship to send down a dr for their people now.

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  34. Oh god. I knew about what happened to Friend already (accidentally found some spoilers on the Tumblr blog), but OH GOD. That is HORRIFIC. Did the doctor just sedate them and do the surgeries while they were unconscious? That sounds like the most likely way for her to have gone about it.

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  36. I spent half the chapter going “nnnoooo… you DIDN’T…” under my breath. and the fuckers really did it. guess they don’t observe the autonomy accords out here

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